Squeaky Clean

    The older women who volunteer at the clinic on Sunday mornings "Just don't do squirrels." One is afraid of letting them out, and the other is afraid of getting bitten, so, on my first Sunday I rolled up my sleeves to clean the adult squirrel cages myself. I had only dealt with the baby's until then, who are very nice, don't bite, and yes, they're still crazy and might suck each other's penises if they don't think you fed them enough, but they don't have sex when you try to clean the cage.

     Squirrel sex sounds like two dog squeaky toys are rapidly being pushed together over and over, honestly, the only thing that hints that its animal's not squeaky toys is the occasional high pitched growling. This, as you may imagine, can be very distracting when trying to get out old bedding from underneath them. So if you ever find yourself in this situation, I suggest throwing some shelled peanuts at them, as I have learned that squirrels will immediately stop hooking up for a snack break. This brings to mind the goals of all living things- to reproduce and to save/obtain energy. Obviously, one of these is more important than the other, these are life lessons here people.